This assignment was actually turned in by two
English students:
Rebecca <last name deleted> and Gary <last name deleted>
English 44A
SMU
Creative Writing
Prof Miller
In-class Assignment for Wednesday
Today we will experiment with a new form called the tandem story.
The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the person
sitting to his or her immediate right. One of you will then write
the first paragraph of a short story. The partner will read the first
paragraph and then add another paragraph to the story. The first
person will then add a third paragraph, and so on back and forth.
Remember to reread what has been written each time in order to keep the
story coherent. The story is over when both agree a conclusion has
been reached.
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At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted.
The camomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home,
now reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier times, that
he liked camomile. But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep
her mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if she
thought about him too much her asthma started acting up again. So
camomile was out of the question.
Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack squadron
now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to think about than
the neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named Laurie with whom he
had spent one sweaty night over a year ago. "A.S. Harris to Geostation
17," he said into his transgalactic communicator. "Polar orbit established.
No sign of resistance so far..." But before he could sign off a bluish
particle beam flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through his ship's
cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent him flying out of his
seat and across the cockpit.
He bumped his head and died almost immediately, but not before he felt
one last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one woman who had
ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its pointless
hostilities towards the peaceful farmers of Skylon 4. "Congress Passes
Law Permanently Abolishing War and Space Travel." Laurie read in her newspaper
one morning. The news simultaneously excited her and bored her.
She stared out the window, dreaming of her youth -- when the days had passed
unhurriedly and carefree, with no newspapers to read, no television to
distract her from her sense of innocent wonder at all the beautiful things
around her. "Why must one lose one's innocence to become a woman?"
she pondered wistfully.
Little did she know, but she has less than 10 seconds to live.
Thousands of miles above the city, the Anu'udrian mothership launched the
first of its lithium fusion missiles. The dim-witted wimpy peaceniks
who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace Disarmament Treaty through Congress
had left Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien empires who were
determined to destroy the human race. Within two hours after the
passage of the treaty the Anu'udrian ships were on course for Earth, carrying
enough firepower to pulverize the entire planet. With no one to stop
them they swiftly initiated their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion
missile entered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in his top-secret
mobile submarine headquarters on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam,
felt the inconceivably massive explosion which vaporized Laurie and 85
million other Americans. The President slammed his fist on the conference
table. "We can't allow this! I'm going to veto that treaty!
Let's blow'em out of the sky!"
This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature.
My writing partner is a violent, chauvinistic, semi-literate adolescent.
Yeah? Well, you're a self-centered tedious neurotic whose attempts
at writing are the literary equivalent of Valium.
You total #*&.
Stupid %&#$!.