I awoke at 8am this morning, looked out my window, and saw the blizzard
  continuing.  I then groaned, and turned on the radio.

  Radio Announcer:  "...Again, all schools will be closed today in Monroe
  County, including Indiana University.  Also, the entire area is under a
  state of emergency.  Please... do not drive unless absolutely necessary. This
  is Kim with WTTS, and this report was brought to you by The Paint Store."

  [enter boppy music and effusive announcer/ad-type voice]

  "IT'S SPRINGTIME, EVERYONE!  And to celebrate, The Paint Store is having a
  one-day-only sale... so come on down right now...!"