Schedule of a graduate student in the US
6:30am Wakeup and lie awake in Bed
6:31 Realize you spent $18
on last night's dinner, means no
eating
out for the next 6 weeks
6:32 Hit snooze button.
Go back to sleep.
7:00 Wake up suddenly with
heart in mouth when you realize
you
didn't hit the snooze button--you turned it off.
7:01 fall asleep again.
7:44 Wake up with heart in
mouth again.
7:45 Ready to go to school,
will shave tommorrow, will eat
early
brunch at (Denny's/Penny's/Lenny's/Dinko's
whatever
cafeteria).
8:03 Arrive at school.
Realize your officemate arrived
earlier
today must have got more work done.
8:04 Pass by Advisor's office,
chat with Secretary to find
out
if he is coming in today. He is, darn. Need to
start
work on the draft due this afternoon.
8:15 Read electronic mail
8:20 Delete mail from students
taking CMPSC201 regarding
questions
about the class. Hate your TA job.
Depression:
too much work to do today
9:00 For jumpstart: go to Pepsi
machine.
9:05 Kick Pepsi machine; promise
yourself to call up the
company
and ask for your money back. Wonder why they
would
beleive you.
9:33 Start printing out loads
of stuff that may be vaguely
related
to your work.
9:41 Early morning stupefaction.
9:58 Finger everyone in the
department and most people half
way
around the world (using the "finger" command, of
course).
10:19 Feel sleepy, should not have
stayed late playing tetris
last
night.
10:31 Momentary panic attack!!!!!!!!!!!!
10:43 Edit .plan file. write a shell
program to edit .plan
more
easily
10:59 Drop in at advisor's office
and borrow something you
don't
need & and kinda make him aware you are working
hard
on your project.
11:05 Perverted daydreams.
11:11 Read electronic news.
Mid-morning yawn time .
11:34 Start typing junk at a very
high key-in rate to pretend
you
are working hard as your advisor passes by from
outside.
11:35 Press the BackSpace key for
one and a half minutes
until
all the garbage you typed in is erased. Realize
that
you can type more than 256 characters per half
minute.
11:45 Print out some slides for afternoon's
draft +
presentation.
11:47 Print them again, you forgot
to change the date from
last
presentation.
11:49 Print another copy in case
this one gets lost.
11:51 Completely forget about sueing
the coffee-machine
company.
12:15 Hunger pangs.
12:20 BigMac/Fries time. Drink
a not-so-cold generic can of
cola
from your desk. Ch-Ching, you just saved 35 cents
by
buying bulk cola.
1:00 Group Meeting with advisor.
1:14 Sudden awareness of one's
shallowness. Resentment
towards
officemate for sucking up to your advisor. Get
reminded
by your advisor that you need to do some more
work
for your literature survey.
1:51 Advisor hands you the
reddened copy of your draft for
corrections.
1:51:02 The 49 second urge to murder advisor
begins!!
1:51:52 Realize that s/he controls your assistantship/grade/
graduation
possiblity/graduation date/all job
opportunities,
and the rest of your life.
1:52:53 Thank him/her.
1:52:54 Thank yourself for not saying something
stupid to your
advisor.
1:53:00 Splitting headache #1.
1:59 Check electronic mail,
don't reply though, you are too
busy
to do that.
2:06 More generic cola.
2:17 Oh No, it is my turn to
cook tonite :-(.
2:30 Sit through the class
you were told to sit through.
2:39 Look outside the window
make unrealistic plans to quit
this
degree program and take up a job.
2:48 More perverted day-dreams.
Close the office door and
open
a few .gif files. Sharpen pencil.
3:06 Worry about never graduating.
Time to write a
letter--NOT!
no time for that. Rearrange desk. Call
up
bank; see if you have any money. Fear of losing aid
next
Fall. Read latex manuals to figure out how to put
&$%&%
in %$^% format .
3:43 Watch the clock.
Make plans to do a all-nighter
tonite.
Vow to watch only 2 TV programs.
4:58 Notice Advisor leave.
4:58:01 Sudden sense of freedom. Go home
for quick, short
dinner
break.
9:00pm Come into the office
9:01pm The hard working grad student you
are, you have to come
to
the office late at night to "get the work done."
9:03 Check electronic mail.
Decide it would be a good time
to
attack those ftp sites since network wont be loaded.
Run
into "since network wont be loaded" traffic and get
the
pictures into your machine. Compress all unwanted
research/class
directories to make space. Back up all
your
pictures.
10:11 Admire pictures. Begin
work; Realize you need
references.
Realize its too late today to go to the
library.
Sudden feeling of having wasted the day
10:49 Sudden feeling of possibly
having to waste the night.
Decide
to turn in early and come back very early
tommorrow
morning. Decide to play a Tetris on the
system
to put yourself in a good mood.
11:15 Play game after game after
game to improve your score
and
get on the scoreboard. Realize that your
officemate
is still at number 6, two notches above you
on
the scoreboard.
12:20 Play until you beat your officemate
into the 7th place.
A
sense of achievment!! Yes, today was not wasted!!
Return
home to find your roommate watching David
Letterman
reruns on NBC. Tell him about the "hard
working
grad student day you had." Discuss philosophy
with
roommate.
1:09 Think about becoming a
philosopher and dining with 4
others
(The Dining Philosophers problem, hee hee :-)
(Comp
Sci joke). Argue with him about politics, why
people
prefer Japanese cars and whether it is better to
set
the heat to "hot" or "cold" to defrost the
windshields
faster.
1:49 Realize neither of you
have bought milk today. Get
reminded
of the "too much milk problem".
2:04 Forget about getting up
early. Turn the phone ringer
off
and go to sleep.
3:00
Waking up and writing stuff like this &
e-mailing them to
all
other grad students you know .
-AMT