Knock several of your own teeth out, light a candle, swallow it whole and go as one helluva slammin' jack-o'-lantern.

Dip yourself into a huge vat of saliva and go as a giant tongue.

Paint a big star on your face, throw on a blue-white-red striped Izod tennis shirt and be your Texan roommate's Lone Star State flag.

Dress in all green, keep a leaking thermos of Kool-Aid in your front pants pocket and go as Kermit the Vehemently Incontinent Frog.

Inflate four or five extra-large condoms, staple them to the crown of your scalp and go as that satanicHamburger Helper hand thing.

Get naked, cover your body with bees and go as honey.

Put on a pretty red bonnet, have one of your good friends inadvertently plunge a meat cleaver into your spine and go as Strawberry Shortcake After One of Her Good Friends Inadvertently Plunged a Meat Cleaver into Her Spine.

Dip yourself into a huge vat of saliva, slap on a grass skirt and go as a giant tongue that hails from the beautiful state of Hawaii.

Magic-marker your eyebrows together and go as Bert.

Set someone's house on fire and pretend you're an arsonist.

Shove your head straight through a Casio TK-1200 electronic keyboard and go as An Organ of Very Impressive Size.

Spit on anyone who comes within a four-foot radius of you and be a human water pick.

Club yourself in the face several times, safety pin your upper lip to the tip of your nose and go as Donna from "Beverly Hills 90210."

Slap on a cape, vomit profusely and be Count Dracula After He Got That Horrendous Gastrointestinal Problem That One Time.

Get naked, cover your body with bees and go as just a normal run-o'-the-mill person who's not at all afraid to experiment with new somatosensory endeavors.

Put on a big wig, big nose, big collar, big shoes and go as a big dork.

Coat your entire face with White-Out and go as The Noxema Girl After A Really Cruel Hoax.

Whenever you converse with someone, scream as loud as you possibly can "No, I don't want to talk with Helmut!" and go as A Horrendously Unproductive Telephone Call to Germany.

Grab a turkey baster, a bucket full of cheese wiz and a circus midget, and then--oh sorry, wrong list.

Thumbtack some Xerox paper to your chin, flap your arms incessantly and go as a paper airplane.

Don a witch's hat, smother your body in ground beef and chili and go as a Wicked Burrito.

Purchase a well-greased-down pair of mouse ears, slap 'em on, jam several hypodermics into your arm and call yourself Mickey Mouse, Trying Ever-So-Desperately To Kick a Hardcore Smack Habit.

Dye your hair green and go as broccoli.

Put several shoes of sundry sizes in your mouth and go as Super-Insensitive-No-Sense-Of-Tact-Guy.

Annoyingly repeat everything that people around you say, using slightly different terminology, and be Roget's thesaurus.

Stick both of your arms straight out in front of you and constantly yell, "Hey, somebody come and sit on me, you bunch of stupid jerks!" and be the spitting image of a rocking chair.

Stand completely straight, arms taut at your side, tilt your head slightly to the right and go as a stunning Jack Nicklaus Classic Edition 5-iron.

Draw whiskers on your face, jump up and down on a pogo stick, cough incessantly, refuse to talk to anyone and go as an anti-social, hyper-excited bunny rabbit with bronchitis.

Find a small boy named Isaac, tie him up, brandish a knife above his chest and go as Abraham.

Tie yourself from head-to-toe in bakery string of some sort and be dental floss.

Wrap yourself completely in red wax paper and go as Herman The Mutant Kielbasa Boy.

Shove a lot of sliced bananas and strawberries down your shirt and pants and go as one of those crazy jello molds with the whole colloid-suspension-fruit-effect goin' on.