* You buy a Captain Kirk chair with a built-in keyboard and mouse.

* Your wife makes a new rule: "The computer cannot come to bed."
 
* You get a tatoo that says "This body best viewed with Netscape 1.1 or higher."

* You ask a plumber how much it would cost to replace the chair in front of your computer with a toilet.
 
* You start tilting your head sideways to smile.

* Your wife says communication is important in a marriage...so you buy another computer and install a second phone line so the two of you can chat.

* As your car crashes through the guardrail on a mountain road, your first instinct is to search for the "back" button.
 
* Your wife drapes a blond wig over your monitor to remind you of what she looks like.

* All of your friends have an @ in their names.

* Your dog has its own home page.

* You find yourself typing "com" after every period when using a word processor.com

* You refer to going to the bathroom as downloading.

* Your heart races faster and beats irregularly each time you see a new WWW site address in print or on TV, even though you've never had heart problems before.
 
* You step out of your room and realize that your parents have moved and you don't have a clue when it happened.

* You turn on your intercom when leaving the room so you can hear if new e-mail arrives.
 
* You kiss your girlfriend's home page.

* Your bookmark takes 15 minutes to scroll from top to bottom.
 
* Your eyeglasses have a web site burned in on them.

* You spend half of the plane trip with your laptop on your lap...and your child in the overhead compartment.
 
* You can't call your mother...she doesn't have a modem.
 
* You realize there is not a sound in the house and you have no idea where your children are.
 
* You check your mail. It says "no new messages." So you check it again.

* You refer to your age as 3.x.

* Your phone bill comes to your doorstep in a box.

* You code your homework in HTML and give your instructor the URL.

* Your husband tells you he's had the beard for 2 months.

* You start looking for hot HTML addresses in public restrooms.
 
* You move into a new house and decide to Netscape before you landscape.
 
* You tell the cab driver you live at http://123.elm.street/house/bluetrim.html
 
* You actually try that 123.elm.street address.